In the end, I have resorted to this. Posting from my mobile device. It’s almost annoying because my phone doesn’t have an accurate auto correct function. But this is the only way. The only time I use my borrowed laptop is when I have to attend an online class. Otherwise, I simply don’t have the time.
Soooo many things happened since my last update but I refused to back track those memories as some were not that delightful. But alhamdulillah it has been a nice couple of months regardless.
Anyways, I have started reading again. In the midst of class season 3, I know. I should have been busy with the classes, homework, and what not but the pull is so strong I just couldn’t stop. I need to read some fiction. And, as usual, it’s addictive but I’m trying my best to just read during the in-betweens; during lunch time, while waiting – believe it or not, that’s a lot of time.
I did it guys. Finally. Just one day before deadline. I.DID.IT!! I finished transcribing it to soft copy and just emailed it to Bayyinah. Alhamdulillah!!! Ya Allah! Alhamdulillah!!
😦 Friday, 27th May 2016 marks the last class for Access 2 which I unfortunately could not attend. Well, I’ve never been able to join live class to even begin with but Alhamdulillah for the recordings. I tried to join from my phone though but my data ran out before the bill due (for the first time ever!). At least I got to join for a couple of minutes lol.
Even so, I still feel sad that it has ended. I really do. I know I’ve been taking it for granted with skipping class and whatnot but I really can’t afford listening to class while completing the class project. I’m planning to listen to all the remaining recordings after Raya but Kak Maria told us just now that Access 3 will probably start mid July which only means that I have around 1 week to
cover master everything. And to be honest, Access 3 course outline is really intimidating like you have to be well versed in your Access 1 and 2 in order to learn Access 3. I am like no where near, no where.
Some sisters were thinking of taking a break for a while to review Access 2 first and take the next round of Access 3 but I don’t know. I’m not sure if it will work with me. I couldn’t even discipline myself during the 1 month break, what more 3 months? My worst nightmare would be me dropping everything all together thinking that I could pick it up later only to find out that I’ve forgotten every single thing. That would be a total disaster. Ya Allah, keep me in this journey.
I need to do more thinking on this. May Allah guide us all.
Now that I have my own domain name, I should be able to customize my website right? Notice that I used the word “my website” there? LOL
I wish I’ve done this sooner. More like when I just graduated lol. Just because at that particular time, that few weeks before my first job, I spent most of my time coding using CSS and HTML for a website. I went on it day and night like I stopped just for mundane activities. And because I never attended any course on CSS and HTML before, I was kinda proud of myself for the accomplishment.
5 years later, I couldn’t code to save my life. Well, except for some basic stuff. But it would be a waste though to pay people just for a nice layout. I mean how much does it cost you these days? I spent enough already on the domain name and to add it up for a nice layout seems a bit too much for a non-serious blogger such as myself.
Not now I guess?
From 2013. I swear I’ve screen captured every single version but it’s no where in the blog. LOL
I had this epiphany few days ago. You know in my last post I said I want to go on with Qur’an memorization? And then I thought “Why stop there?”. I should take this opportunity to memorize my Access materials! I have so many tables, grammar, meanings, all sort of things to memorize. I should memorize them as well. Use the blessing of Ramadhan for more barakah in it right?
One of the table that I have to memorize. Also happen to be the Sarf pattern that always got me tricked. May Allah make it easy for me.
I haven’t made any solid plan just yet though. Honestly, cos I’m busy doing something else. If I’m not on my phone doing God knows what, I would be on my class project. I am now at Ayat 50. I will make it through inshaallah. Please make doa for me.
I should restock myself some raisins lol.
You know I’ve been searching and asking here and there on Ramadan activities. I even registered for Twins of Faith this year for the quest!
But I can’t help but notice that more than several times, I listened or I read that Ramadan is not just about finishing Qur’an recitation although that’s the most famous thing people do. It’s the month for us to connect to the Qur’an and one of the things you could do beside completing the Qur’an recitation is to memorize it. I swear, I’ve heard it at least 3 times since I last talked about it here and I think I wanna do it this year. It almost feels like a calling to do so like this is it. No more escaping. Well, probably because I’ve tried twice and failed both times.
First was somewhere around last year when I tried to memorize the whole Juz Amma. I stopped half way because I lost the routine along the way. Second time was when I took Qur’an Intensive Follow Up; I tried to memorize Surah Al-Hujurat. I didn’t even reach the third page. Oh actually, I and my dear friends, Salmi and Kak Nusayba started the initiative a while before QIFU and when we realized we’re going to learn the Surah in QIFU, it was like a big hint for all of us. But….yerp that didn’t happen either.
Now, that I’m translating Surah Al-Furqan, I think it’s the best time to memorize it. And memorization requires repetition and which better month to repeat the ayat of Qur’an than the month of Ramadan right? But this call for a plan. I can’t be jumping into it without any structured plan or it won’t work. I know myself well enough to not fall for “I got this” smug.
I got this right?
I am actually freaking out a little bit here. For Access 2, our class project is to translate Surah Al-Furqan by ourselves without the help of any translation. This uses everything we’ve learnt since Day 1 and Alhamdulillah we can use all sort of apps to help us.
The thing is I’ve been playing around during classes these past few weeks. I checked my social media feed during classes, do that, do this, and in the end, I think I get only 50% of the class or maybe less. So, right now, when I’m translating the Surah, it felt like I use only knowledge from QI and the first half of Access 2. I can’t recall much from the second half of Access 2. Probably because there was less practice compared to other topics but no, it’s because I didn’t pay attention. I sorta regret it now but I have no time to listen back to those hours of lectures. Le sigh.
Andddd the project is due in just few weeks! I will probably send it right before Ramadhan which is 4th June but I only reached ayat 20 last night. How can I finish another 40+ ayat !!?? T___T
I have calculated my chances and I have to complete at least 3 ayat per day to make it in time. I’m not sure if that’s possible though. It took me longer than expected to complete even 1 ayat. I struggled a lot to be honest and I think I know why; I have weak foundation. Sometimes, I even have to refer to QI text book for some meaning and grammar.
This reminds me to the time when I was struggling to complete the ‘irab of Surah Yaseen lol. Those were the days.
Ok! Let’s do this Anne!
It’s one of those things that I tried but failed eventually. Last 2 years, I had this epiphany; how amazing would it be if I could spend my salary solely on me. I mean minus the loans. Because right now, almost half of my salary went out to the loans excluding other commitments. Imagine it. Life without loans. That financial freedom. *sparkly eyes* Life without bills would be amazing too but let’s get real. The way I saw it, there’s only 2 ways to achieve it; A) Startup a business or some sort of investment and gain a lot of money so you can pay all your loans and more; and B) Save up and pay your loans.
I would not bet on myself to go for option A) cos…well…I don’t know. I just don’t see it in me. So, I got option B). I read as much as I could about being debt-free. All the articles, the success stories, everything. It only last for 6 months which is actually an achievement, even for myself. I manipulated myself when I got an increment though. Le sigh. That was the death of my debt-free plan.
My housemate, my little sister, and myself included are a bunch of people who dislike our job. I won’t go as far as “hate” but we complain about our 8-5 job regularly. It’s as if our job has become a burden that we have to suffer everyday. 2 days weekend is nothing compared to 5 days working for 8 hours. We want to do different things from what we’re doing right now but we couldn’t because we got loans and bills to pay. We want to jump into the bandwagon and start a business but too scared to risk it. We’re one of those people.
And then there’s this one article popped up into the surface of my memory. This guy, probably in his late 30’s, has been debt-free for quite some time. He didn’t succeed in any start up business or create an app that got downloaded billions of time. He saved up, lived few years as a cheapskate, paid all his loans, increased his savings, and still doing his job. It’s a long process but once he has that true financial freedom, he excels more in his job. Reason being is he no longer feels like he HAS to come to work, rather, he feels like his job is something that he does to kill his time. And that give creativity lots of chance to grow. It’s inspiring.
Well, I don’t know. So many times I’ve tried to start back my debt-free plan but it just didn’t pull through. There’s just so many additional things I have to pay for. According to the guidelines, I’m not even supposed to enroll myself in any classes. So how about my Access classes?
Wow talking about financial stuff is really stressful. LOL. Some people likes to talk about money, but I’m just not that some people.
Like finally!!!! I’ve been wanting my own domain name since I knew how to blog and that was eons ago! If you check the archives of this blog, it goes wayyy back to 2008 but in actual truth, I’ve been blogging few years before that but I used Friendster and I didn’t export them to WordPress. I think there was no such thing as exporting content back then lol.
You may I ask, why now? Honestly, I am sick of my alter ego name. It was a really stupid name. I googled something that rhymes with “ila” and my teenager brain decided that “izaiah” have a ring to it so everything was “ila izaiah” back then. Well, “ila” is as legit as it could be but “izaiah” is just annoying to stick with. There was a time when I went all out and used “ila anne izaiah” lmao. I’m glad that now it’s just “ila anne” and both of those words are really my name.
Having Maintaining my very paid domain can only mean one thing; I need to get serious with blogging. I have to blog more often at least or else, those few dollars would be a waste. Not that I’m planning to go all out too though like publicizing it here and there to get more readers ohho ho ho ho no no no. It is still for me. I just feel a bit more sophisticated with http://www.ilaanne.com🙂
You know how blog sites provider(?) like WordPress and Blogspot provide you this Stat like you can actually see how many people have visited your site, clicked which post, reached your blog through what search term, all those stuff. I actually am really happy about my almost non-existent view per day. It means that nobody really reads what I write. People probably bump into this page because of the jars lmao. I hope they never click “Home” and read what I wrote. Idk it’s just that people write for people to read but I write….for myself. Most of it is because I wanna be able to remember how I am when I read it in the future.
Oh and the English Islamic Radio Station RnD I talked about last time? Yerp that isn’t happening. There’s just something about it that doesn’t sit well with me. So, I’m gonna pass lol.
There’s this thing that I’ve been thinking about lately. Last Ramadhan, I set a goal to recite the entire Qur’an and alhamdulillah I did. I got my menses towards the end of the fasting month and I have like only few pages left before the due but it didn’t happen and I know it in my heart that day that I have to like have to have to finish it by Maghrib time or else I won’t make it. So, I did and I thought right. Ok wait is that too much information? LOL I’m sorry. I just would like to point out that you know, it’s only with Allah’s permission and mercy that I got to finish reciting the entire Qur’an last Ramadhan.
So this next coming Ramadhan which happen to be in about 1 month…Ya Allah, please allow me to meet Ramadhan this year. As I was saying, for Ramadhan this year, I feel like I should do something more or different than reciting the entire Qur’an but I have no clue what. Of course, there’s whole lot of other beneficial stuff I could do like study the Qur’an or read the translation or memorize few Surahs or 1 Juz but I’m not sure I could pull it off. Like I’m not sure if I could discipline myself to study the Qur’an and I’m not sure if I could connect to the translation like I used to (I’ll explain about this some time in the future) and and what I’m really not sure of is memorizing the Qur’an. It is so intimidating and I know for a fact, I mean I heard it from people that it’s hard to do it alone. You gotta have a partner in this journey. Idk I really don’t know. Let’s hope I will find the answer before Ramadhan starts inshaallah. Guide me Ya Allah.
By the way, below is my current loop. I like its tone so I just checked the lyrics to understand what I’ve been listening to and it’s actually a love song =.=! Urgh why??? It’s not even love towards Allah or Rasulullah saw. It’s a love song between a couple before marriage. I have nothing against it really but I just don’t like that kind of song. It makes you long for those kind of stuff and what you listen to, whether you realize it or not, effects you one way or another. And I’m just not in that place to be wanting those stuff yet. Urghhh whyyy =.=!!!